The Kiss
by Sev's.Black.Pearl
Summary: The Blood Lovers' Series 1...Remus is trying to cope with his loss and looking for comfort elsewhere. RLSS. Oneshot. Please R&R.


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_Disclaimer: Same as everyone else! Not JK Rowling.

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**The Kiss**

"Are you alright Remus dear?" asked Mrs Weasley, as the young man who sat at the kitchen table shelling peas while Harry and Ron reluctantly peeled potatoes sighed heavily, his honey brown eyes glanced up at the clock for the third time since sitting down.

Although Remus Lupin gave her a warm smile Harry couldn't help but feel that Lupin was desperately worried about something.

Lupin had been agitated all day, unable to concentrate and pacing the house (a grand town house in London that had been secretly purchased by Severus Snape, with part of the money he had inherited on his grandfather's death to serve as a new headquarters for the Order of the Phoenix) like a caged animal and had puzzled Harry as it was at least two weeks before the next full moon. But Lupin looked unwell; haunted in fact he hadn't really been himself since Professor Snape's last visit three days ago. It had been Mrs Weasley who had finally put Lupin to work helping her in the kitchen.

"I thought…" Lupin suddenly broken the silence again he glanced at the clock "that Severus was coming here…tonight?"

"Yes dear…I believe Professor Snape is due to report to Moody at six o'clock" Mrs Weasley replied turning her attention from the saucepan of mincemeat that was gently simmering upon the stove to the clock. She frowned and then gave Lupin a nervous smile "Oh…he's does seem to be running a little late…" Lupin looked worried "But I am sure he is alright…why dear did you want to speak with him?"

"Yes," Lupin replied rising from his chair "Could you tell Severus I would like a word…in private once he has finished his report?"

"Of course dear I'll send one of the boys up," Mrs Weasley looked at Lupin for a moment "And perhaps Remus dear you could persuade Professor Snape to stay for dinner, the poor man looks awfully pale and thin, I hate to think of him rushing off into god knows what…" she shuddered "Without having at least one square meal, please Remus, he seems to listen to you."

"Does he?" Lupin replied sounding surprised but hopeful "I'll try my best Molly…excuse me I've just remembered something I need to do."

Lupin sat down, hunched over upon the edge of the four-poster bed burying his face in his hands he started to weep, his whole slender body shook with the violent emotions engulfing him.

"Oh Sirius" Lupin sobbed, he felt so wretched as if his heart was slowly being torn apart, forced to endure the cruel apposing torments of grief and unrequited love. Lupin felt ashamed, confused and racked with guilt that his feelings were a betrayal of his friend's memory, but he was also angry, infuriated that he had been too weak, too afraid of the disgust and mockery that Sirius would have expressed if he had dared confide in him of the love he had kept secretly for the last two years…and now it could be too late.

"Forgive me…Sirius but…I love him"

Lupin ran his fingers through his hair trying to brush his long fringe from his eyes, glancing in the mirror he wished he had time to shave as a weary, gaunt stubbed face stared back at him. Lupin sighed smoothing the wrinkles in his grey cotton shirt and jeans; a fellow member of the Order of the Phoenix ensured that he was no longer forced to make do with tattered, patched robes and the muggle clothes helped him to blend in when he did leave the house. Yet Lupin still felt shabby and unimposing when he compared himself to Severus Snape with his exquisite if a little sinister black tailoring

There was a sharp, impatience rap of knuckles at the door that made Lupin jump, he thought dragged back to the present.

"Come in" Lupin gulped nervously, his heart quickened and he felt suddenly clammy and sick.

"You wanted to speak with me?" Snape asked as he entered the room in a glorious sweep of his long midnight black velvet frock coat, so commanding and impressive it nearly took Lupin's breath away.

"Err…yes do come in," Lupin just managed in a hoarse whisper "Take a seat." he gestured to a gilded antique chair by the window that was untidily draped with clothes. Lupin winced, scolding himself for not treating the beautiful; expensively furniture with the proper respected it deserved.

"I would rather not" Snape replied brusquely as he carefully shut the door behind him and turned to face Lupin with a dark, suspicious look in his eyes. Lupin looked at Snape, helpless and foolish as all those well-rehearsed words faded, his mind went blank.

"Well?" Snape questioned with irritation, as he folded his arms across his chest. Lupin could feel his palms sweating and felt his mouth suddenly become dry.

"I've been thinking…" Lupin thrust his hands into his pockets and started to pace the room, not daring to look Snape directly in the eye.

"Well there's a first…" Snape muttered with his customary spiteful sarcasm. The hurtful remark wounded Lupin even more deeply then before, Lupin knew he was taking a terribly risk laying his heart, naked before Snape but Lupin was determined no matter the consequences to tell him the truth. If he didn't now he might never be able to find the courage again…until it was too late and Severus Snape was just another bitter casualty of the war against the Dark Lord.

"I…I owe you an apology Severus…"

"An apology?" Snape asked silkily as he arched a questioning slender dark eyebrow, the sudden surprise in Snape's voice made Lupin stop momentary and look at him. His thin, pale mouth had curled slightly at one corner; the prelude to delivering another razor-sharp, cruel insult, Lupin bit down hard upon his bottom lip as he realised no matter how much spite Snape directed at him that he longed for that smile. "Well…go on then…I'm going to enjoy this"

Lupin took a deep breath as if to steady his nerves not for the apology but for what he intended to do after making it. "Sirius's death has given me even more reason to reflect on the past…and I want to apologise for what happened to you at school…I am…"

"Don't flatter yourself Lupin" Snape scoffed haughtily "As I recall it was Potter and Black that tormented me…you did precious little."

"But that's the point Severus" Lupin interrupted bitterly, angry of the reminder, almost saddened that his presence seemed to have been nothing but a minor irritation to Snape. "I couldn't have stopped them bullying you but I was stupid, weak and afraid."

Snape said nothing his mouth was now drawn into a thin taunt line as he stared back at Lupin, dark eyes narrowed into slits, his brow furrowed with concentration as if he was trying to penetrate Lupin's thoughts.

"Go on," Snape encouraged in his deep, rich almost hypnotic voice, Lupin shuddered.

"I am so sorry, sorry about letting them bully you, Sirius's stupid prank…everything, but this…"

Lupin cupped his hands under Snape's chin, pulling him close and smothered his mouth in a kiss. Snape stiffened, stunned but then to Lupin's surprise his lips softened yielding to the caress as he wrapped his arms around Lupin holding him close against him. Snape returned the initial tender brush of lips by slipping his tongue into Lupin's mouth deepening and heating the kiss with something that Lupin had never associated with the stern, proud Slytherin…fiery, desperate passion.

"Severus…" Lupin gasped as they finally broke the kiss "How…how long have you…"

"Wanted to kiss you?" Snape panted his lips were now hovering inches from Lupin's neck the caress of Snape's warm, rasping breath made his flesh tingle as a tremble of excitement fluttered in his stomach. "Since that potions class in the fifth year when Potter and Black were in the hospital wing with the flu and old Slughorn made you sit next to me…"

"I remember…" Lupin replied with a soft moan as Snape's lips brushed his neck "wait a minute wasn't that the lesson when I scolded your hand?"

"I suppose…all I can remember now is you peering through that sexy, long fringe, chewing your bottom lip as you tried to figure out what the hell we were meant to be brewing …maybe if I haven't been so busy watching you, wanting you, I would have noticed that our cauldron was bubbling over," Snape reached up a pushed the same long fringe now flecked with grey from Lupin's golden eyes. "I still want you."

"I…I had no idea" Lupin groaned as Snape slide his hands over the firm curves of Lupin's backside, pulling him close "I thought you hated me…why didn't you tell me when I returned to Hogwarts?"

"Times had changed Remus I was risking far more than just a rejected broken heart, it was much easier, safer to carry on the pretence that I hated you…but none of that matters now if you still want me."

"Oh yes Severus…yes." Lupin growled softly claiming Snape's mouth once again.

There was a knock at the door and Lupin was surprised that Snape didn't instantly pull away from him; he within drew unhurriedly making the kiss linger sensuously until their lips slowly fall away from each other.

"Yes" Lupin replied trying to sound calm, normal as he watched Snape flick his head slightly to remove a strand of black hair that had tumbled into his eye, a little quirk that Lupin suddenly found extremely arousing.

"You bastard" Lupin mouthed with a grin as Snape coolly smoothed out the creases in his coat, his lips curling into a satisfied smile.

"Remus…its Ron, mum's dishing up and wants to know if Sna…Professor Snape is staying for dinner"

"Go on," pleaded Lupin

"Oh all right, just this once," agreed Snape with a wicked grin.

"What do you mean Remus?" Snape questioned with surprise his dark eyes involuntarily flickered towards the bed "That I should spend the night here…with you?"

"Yes…that is exactly what I mean…you said yourself that you would only be going back to The Leaky Cauldron…we don't even have to do anything, we could just talk or…" Lupin was cut short as Snape grabbed him and kissed him passionate.

"If I stay… I don't want to just talk…" said Snape as he embraced Lupin kissing him hard, demanding entrance into his mouth, stealing his very breath. And Lupin responded yielding to the passionate, fiery onslaught as he allowed Snape to guide him towards the bed.

"I love you" Lupin muttered nuzzling into Snape's hair, it felt soft and damp against his cheek. Lupin let the sensations wash over him, the long-dreamt pleasure that still tingled through his body as he snuggled against his lover's warm, sweat slicked flesh, feeling the pounding rhythm Snape's heart and the hot rasp of his breath.

"I know" Snape replied in a cool, calm voice, Lupin felt a tiny stab of pain in his chest as his lover regained his self-control, as if embarrassed by the abandonment of their love making. Lupin was suddenly afraid that Snape would rise from the bed and leave him, preferring the empty solitude of his room at The Leaky Cauldron but to his relief Snape just made himself more comfortable before closing his eyes and putting out the lights.

"Remus" Snape murmured drowsily, snaking his arm beneath the sheets seeking out the taunt curve of Lupin's hip and drew him close. Lupin shuddered, his flesh suddenly alive with the glorious sensation of Snape's body, so warm and inviting against his own. Lupin gave a throaty growl as Snape's lips brushed his mouth; but this kiss was soft, loving and Lupin responded tenderly then let his lover still heavy with sleep nuzzle into his chest. With a sigh Lupin buried his face into Snape's hair letting his fingers idly entwine into the soft darkness and he breathed in the scent of him, contented and comforted with feeling Snape's warm, naked body slumbering peacefully in his embrace. Lupin didn't know when…if…fate would grant them another of these precious nights, he knew that if Snape awoke not to regret the magic of last night, then they would be condemned to snatching what moments they could together.

But now Lupin wanted to linger in this heavenly twilight between the dream and the harsh reality, so that he could committed everything at about this moment to memory, something to cling to in the long, lonely darkness that awaited them both as the duties of war torn them from each others arms. Lupin wanted to remember it all, totally immerse himself and indulge his highly tuned senses. The exquisite sensation of those pale, angular contours beneath his fingers, the faint smell of sweat and musk, the spill of dark hair against the pillow, the taste of damp salty flesh still lingering upon his lips and the gentle steady rhythm of his lovers heart against his chest. This was bliss and Lupin didn't want it to end but the spell was cruelly broken by a gentle knock at the door. Lupin eyes snapped open; peering over Snape's shoulder only to see the bedroom door swing open and Mrs Weasley bustled in holding a breakfast tray in her hands.

"Good morning Remus dear" Mrs Weasley beamed as she set the tray down upon the bedside cabinet and trotted over to the window to draw back the velvet drapes. "It's another lovely, sunny day and I thought that maybe you'll like to…OH…" Mrs Weasley gasped as her gaze fell upon the slumbering body curled up against Lupin. She seemed genuinely surprised but there was no commendation or revulsion reflected in her hazel eyes just stunned acceptance and perhaps sympathy.

"I…I…" Lupin blushed, stuttering awkwardly as his mind raced for an explanation, caught between a strange feeling of shamed relief that Snape wouldn't be able to deny what had happened between them and sudden terrible fear that discovery could push his lover away.

"I think…" Mrs Weasley replied kindly "you will be in need of another cup". Mrs Weasley couldn't begin to comprehend why Remus Lupin had sought solace and love in the arms of Severus Snape but as her own beloved son, Bill was gay she wasn't going to pass judgement upon them, instead she just smiled with motherly concerned and conjured another finely patterned china cup and saucer upon the tray.

"Er…thanks" Lupin blushed an even deeper shade of crimson as Snape stirred whispering his name.

"That's quite alright dear…"

"Oh and Remus dear… if you or Profess…" Mrs Weasley seemed to hesitate as she opened the bedroom door. "Professor Snape want anymore toast there will be plenty more downstairs"

"Thank you Molly…I'll make sure Severus eats something before he leaves"

"Just mind that you do…I do worry about him so."

"So do I." Lupin agreed quietly

"Do what?" questioned Snape blearily as struggling against returning to the comfortable, warm safety of sleep he lifted his head to gaze at Lupin. For a terrible moment as Snape's dark eyes blinked in the bright light of morning, and then stared blankly back at him, the realisation of where he was slowly dawning upon his pale, gaunt face Lupin feared rejection and condemnation. But Snape suddenly smiled, banishing all his foolish qualms with a deep, passionate caress.

"Good morning, Remus," Snape whispered his deep, rich voice lingered seductively upon the last letter of his lover's name sending shivers of desire through Lupin, and again he felt that aching heat, burning, hardening his manhood.

"Is that hot buttered toast I can smell? I suppose the annoyingly wholesome Mrs Weasley does have her uses…" Lupin gave a desperate, frustrated whimper as Snape slipped from his arms to investigate the breakfast tray. "All that physical exertion I must have worked up an appetite as I feel strangely hungry…I'll just have a couple of slices and then I must go" Snape stooped over the tray and started to pour himself a cup of tea. Lupin reached out to trace the curve of Snape's scarred back, a criss-cross of lash marks. "I've got to organize school supplies at the Apothecary, have you got enough Wolfsbane potion to see you through the next full moon, only I won't be able to brew you any more until I returned to Hogwarts…then I have to speak with Pascal at Gringotts about setting you up an account with the anti-werewolf legislation preventing you working things must be tough, there's a Tracing Charm upon my money, it's so damn annoying having to hand over a single gallon to those bastards…" Snape sighed biting into the still warm toast. "But I suppose it buys me a little more freedom and helps our cause…which reminders me there's a meeting tonight…milk, two sugars right?" Snape turned and offered Lupin a cup of tea.

The way in which Snape seemed to calmly mention he would in a matter of hours be standing before the Dark Lord caused Lupin to feel a sickening panic twist in the pit of his stomach, and suddenly he didn't want to let Snape go, never leave this bed where he would be safe and warm and loved.

"I…I don't want you to go," Lupin said weakly as he took the cup from Snape

"But you know I must…there is nowhere to hide Remus, I have to see it through to the end…I own Dumbledore too much to fail him now,"

"Don't say it" Lupin sobbed tearfully the cup shaking in his hand

"Give that tea here you daft soppy git," Snape teased but not unkindly as he snatched the cup from Lupin, placed it back on the tray and gathered him into his arms "And I thought you were suppose to be a big scary werewolf" Lupin managed a weak chuckle and nuzzled tearfully into Snape's shoulder.

"I know there are dark times ahead of us Remus but I need you to promise me two things…" he stopped waiting for Lupin to answer which he did by nodding against him reluctant to leave the comfort of his warm flesh and too afraid to look Snape in the eyes. "I need you to be strong for me, once I leave this bed you must become loathsome to me again, my every thought cold, calculated, void of all emotion but hatred, it's the only way I can survive…but more importantly Remus, no matter what happens to me you are not to risk your life to save me…"

"But Severus" Lupin protested tearfully

"No Remus I mean it…I knew the risks involved when I volunteered…promise me you won't risk my cover and plague my conscience with your stupidity…promise me"

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R&R!


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